A late-blooming coming-of-age story
From first realizations and coming out, to queer dating, relationships, sex, love and community — The Sappho Club is a late-blooming coming-of-age story told through personal reflection and cultural analysis.
What is the book about
When Cara (28) discovers the Am I a Lesbian? Masterdoc during the pandemic, she immediately recognizes herself in its description of compulsory heterosexuality. As she reads, her past begins to make sense: the relationships that never quite happened, her discomfort around men, and the explanations she had always taken for granted. The realization is as simple as it is life-altering: yes, she is a lesbian.
The discovery brings excitement and relief, but also a flood of questions. How had she spent nearly three decades believing she was straight? How much of what she thought she wanted had actually been shaped by the world around her? And, perhaps most urgently: what happens now?
Trained as an anthropologist, Cara turns her discovery into personal fieldwork and begins an immersive crash course in lesbianism. She throws herself into queer culture, starts dating women, and reinterprets her past through a new lens. How does dating women work? How should she dress, behave or flirt? How do you read signals you were never taught to look for? Through first dates, first kisses, sex, friendships and queer spaces, she tries to figure out what it actually means to be part of the Sappho Club, with all the exhilaration and awkwardness that comes with beginning again in adulthood.
What starts as a question of sexuality gradually opens up into something larger. Cara begins to examine how social norms have shaped not only her desires, but also her sense of identity, gender and belonging. She becomes more aware of the power of language and labels, of visibility and representation, and of what changes when you suddenly find yourself part of a marginalized group.
As Cara finds her way into queer spaces and communities, her sense of self slowly shifts. Relationships, friendships, and family dynamics take on new meaning. And as someone special enters her life, her journey becomes even more tangible. It is no longer just about understanding herself, but about living that truth openly, with all the vulnerability and visibility that comes with it.
The Sappho Club is a deeply personal, witty, and moving coming-of-age story for the late bloomers among us. In a vibrant blend of memoir, cultural analysis, and anthropology, the author chronicles her journey from a life lived under compulsory heterosexuality toward the joyful discovery of her true queer identity.
Book details
- Title
- The Sappho Club
- Author
- Carine van der Leest
- Genre
- Memoir / LGBTQ+ / Non-fiction
- Language
- English & Dutch
- Publisher
- Atthis Press
- ISBN
- 979-13-993015-0-2 / 979-13-993015-2-6
- Edition
- Ebook, Paperback
- Publication Date
- 1 November 2026
Who is this book for?
The Sappho Club is first and foremost for the late bloomers, for anyone who discovered their sexuality later than expected, or is still trying to make sense of feelings that never quite fitted the life they thought they were supposed to want. And a special shout-out to those who came out during the pandemic, there are a lot of us.
In short, this is the book I wished I could have read when I came out: one that tries to answer all the questions that suddenly appear once the realization lands. Why did it take me so long to know? What exactly is compulsory heterosexuality? How does dating women work? How do you come out when you are still trying to understand it yourself? Do you have to look or act a certain way to be a lesbian? And how do you find your place in a community that is technically yours, but still feels completely new? Just as importantly, it is a story that says you are not the only one asking these questions, starting over, or trying to understand how you could have missed something so important for so long.
But the book reaches beyond the late-bloomer experience. Through its exploration of identity, visibility, queer community and belonging, it speaks to anyone who has had to question the assumptions they grew up with and work out where they fit in a world that was not necessarily designed with them in mind.
And The Sappho Club is also for the people around us. Coming out does not happen in isolation. Families and friends may find themselves rethinking the past, questioning assumptions they never knew they were making, and learning to see someone they love through a new lens. By looking at compulsory heterosexuality as both a personal and cultural experience, the book offers a way into those conversations, and asks us all to consider how family, media and society shape what we believe about sexuality, relationships and identity.
More than anything, I hope this book offers insight and answers, but also a story people can recognize themselves in and genuinely enjoy.
Coming Out
Getting In
Being In
Take a look inside
Important topics
Coming out
later in life
Compulsory heterosexuality
Queer community
Dating & relationships
Moving abroad
Identity & power
Sapphic
About the author
Carine van der Leest
Carine van der Leest is a Dutch writer, currently living in Barcelona. The Sappho Club is her debut, in which she shares her personal coming out story.
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